The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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