If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
