don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
last night I used snow as a chaser
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
