How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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