how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
