"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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