so let's talk penis.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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