you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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