Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
