I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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