just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
