White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
