When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
