i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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