Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
