When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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