there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
