He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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