I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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