I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize