I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we made out on top of his cat.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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