gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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