You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
