when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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