i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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