He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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