I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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