That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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