you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
