They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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