you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
