Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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