I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
