I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
