I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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