i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
