we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
