i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Randomize
