mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
as a side note pls kill me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
