I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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