yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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