put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When are your genitals available?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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