Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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