hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like a drive thru vagina
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
