the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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