im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
