Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
