He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
