i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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