Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
