Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
