well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize