After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
