Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
