Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
