fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
