All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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