i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
