Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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