i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
