well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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