OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
