Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
