Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
